“Oh, my God, a woman flirting with a single man? We must alert the church elders!”
Monica: "Do you have a plan?"
Phoebe: "I don't even have a "pla."
“Something is wrong with the left phalange.”
“Didn’t you ever run so fast you thought your legs were gonna fall off, you know, like when you were running toward the swings or running away from Satan?”
"They don't know that we know they know we know."
“Princess Consuela Bananahammock.”
“I’m very wise, I know.”
“You love divorce so much, you’re probably gonna marry it — and then it won’t work out, so you’re gonna have to divorce it.”
"See? He's her lobster!"
“You should see me when I actually… Oh actually, no, I look good.”
“I think the most romantic song is the one that Elton John wrote for that guy from ‘Who’s the Boss?’… You know, ‘Hold me closer, Tony Danza.’”
"I wish I could, but I don't want to."
“I’m a lady, Monica. I don’t kiss and tell. But this hickey speaks for itself.”
“Are you in there, little fetus? In nine months, will you greet us? I will … buy you some Adidas.”
If you want to receive emails about my upcoming shows, please give me money so I can buy a computer.”
“Smelly cat, smelly cat, what are they feeding you? Smelly cat, smelly cat, it’s not your fault.”
"Isn't that just kick-you-in-the-crotch, spit-on-your-neck fantastic?"
Why can’t parents just stay parents? You know? Why do they have to become people?”
“We are dessert stealers. We are living outside the law.”
“That’s a great story. Tell it while you’re getting me some iced tea.”
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