"Not just clean, 'Monica clean.'" —Monica Geller
Rachel: “I’m not someone who goes after a guy five minutes after he’s divorced.”
Monica: “No, you go after them five minutes before they get married.”
"Guys can fake it? Unbelievable! The one thing that's ours!" —Monica Geller
"Is it me? Is it like I have a beacon that only dogs and men with severe emotional problems can hear?" —Monica Geller
"You can't fire me. I make your decisions and I say, 'I'm not fired.' Ha." —Monica Geller
Rachel: "Go tell him he's cute. What's the worst that could happen?"
Monica: "He could hear me."
"If you're too afraid to be in a relationship, then don't be in one." —Monica Geller
"It's never taken you more than a shower to get over a relationship." —Monica Geller
Monica: “I know of two surefire ways to shut a man up. And one of them is sex.”
Rachel: “What’s the other one?”
Monica: “I don’t know. I’ve never had to use the other one.”
"I'm not great at the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?" —Chandler Bing
"I'm hopeless and awkward and desperate for love!" —Chandler Bing
“Cheese. It’s milk that you chew.”
“No, Homo habilis was erect. Australopithecus was never fully erect.”
“Well, maybe he was nervous.”
"I can handle this. "Handle" is my middle name. Actually, "handle" is the middle of my first name."
"Until I was 25, I thought the response to 'I love you' was 'Oh, crap.'"
"I say more dumb things before 9 A.M. than most people say all day."
"I'm a gym member. I try to go four times a week, but I've missed the last twelve hundred times."
“I tend to keep talking until somebody stops me.”
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